Here at the dawn of the hurricane season of 2006, I offer a new program for the elimination of these threats to our values and our way of life, these storms.
I propose we pave the Gulf. Nothing but parking lot from Belize to the Bahamas, and back up to Port Orange, Florida. We need the parking and we don't need the storms. If a hurricane were yet to come in off the Atlantic into the Gulf Parking Lot, wouldn't we rather lose asphalt than American cities? Absolutely.
If this program is successful, America should build parking lot buffers extending 100 miles off its coasts from Seattle to L.A., and from Maine to Miami by 2012. Sit back and watch it work.
New jobs! Happy asphalt contractors! Fewer hurricanes! More parking! Vote for me!